Hamster Times redux

A long, long time ago, back in 1995. Neil and I wrote a slightly satirical weekly (ish) website. It was called The Hamster Times with all the news as written by a pair of hamsters. We started on the one freebie web server, Angelfire, and quickly spread onto Tripod and Geocities as we ran out of allowance.

To be honest, Neil was the funny one. I made the occasional contribution but my bigger contribution were the many programs to automate the various processes as we spread from freebie server to server. My sense of humour was a bit too obscure.

If you visited the Hamster Times these days, you find a mass of popups, dead links and the carrion from the many attempts to start it all up again. It's been on my list of a while to organise the mess into a self consistent website, so at least I'd have something to show for all the lunchtimes I wasted. It's really something I should co-ordinate with Neil, but alas, we lost touch a few years ago.

Here's my favourite piece from the first edition, lovingly restored with no popups. Neil wrote it, so I cannot take any credit. It all started with some video capture equipment whilst Neighbours was on TV. I'd love to know why his arm was so intersting...

Neigh-bores - The Hamster Times Photo-story By Neil Massey The story so far... Jim is dead, and is still dead. Bouncer, the dog, is dead and also still dead. Helen, is not dead, but quite old and probably ready to die any minute now. Philip married Julie, who was Jims daughter. Julie, is dead, and still dead. Some thought Philip killed Julie, but it was really just an accident. Philip then spent time moping around and chatting to women who looked like Julie, but weren't dead. Philip has some children. He had most of these children before meeting Julie. It is assumed that his previous wife gave him these, although in soap opera's you cannot be certain of anything. In last weeks episode, Philip had just got out of bed with Danni. Danni was not dead, at least not yet, and the daughter of a neigbour. Their secret liason is not quite as secret as they think. This is because Philip shares a house with half the people in the street, but, in particular with his daughter Hannah. Hannah is not dead, but she's had a few close calls. Philip noticed that his arm, which had been sliced off in the Tarantino directed episode had mysteriously grown back. The kids, for lack of any decent plot, were at the race track. Danni, who was a champion racer, was about to try to get pole position, however she was tired after the night of passion she shared with Philip. Philip, was not dead, but was growing limbs at a phenominal rate... Well, that's where we leave this weeks photo story. Will Philip's arm ever really grow back ? Will Danni convince Philip to soundproof his bedroom ? Will Hannah ever get some sleep ? All these questions, and more will be answered on the next episode of Neigh-bores. Remember, any similarity to actual plotlines is totally coincidental and not at all intended. Neighbours is copyright 1997 Grundy productions (I think).

There, wasn't that nice.