Bill P. Godfrey et al

Friday, October 27, 2006

I Feel Pretty (Video)

Situation: Someone asks you to film yourself putting some makeup on.
Problem: You want to help, but you have no make-up.
Solution: Think like an engineer.

This is either engineer-thinking or stupid-thinking. What do you think?


Wednesday, October 25, 2006

I thought it would be the USA

You Belong in New Zealand

Good on ya, mate
You're the best looking one of the bunch
Though you're often forgotten...
You're quite proud of who you are

I must stop doing these things.

Two short vids.

I have an artistic soul...


Monday, October 23, 2006

Good to have a spare
LogoThere are:
people with the name
Bill Godfrey
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Sunday, October 22, 2006

7 miles from Ludlow (Video)

I've finally done it. I've got myself a camera that can do video. Here's a windy day near the Welsh border. Enjoy.

Update: In the few hours since I posted this video, I've been honoured three times!



Once upon a time...

Once upon a time in a land far, far away
There lived a penguin called Jenn, who was purple.
Jenn was a feisty, girly penguin known to sing opera.

Her favourite opera was the marriage of Figaro.
Jenn was sad that there were no opera houses available for purple penguins.
But she did have an iceberg which was regularly frequented by migrating puffins.
They were all slim effeminate former boy band members.
They were former boy band members because they had split up over artistic differences.
One puffin, Archibald, was particularly sweet on Jenn.
He would often shower Jenn with flowers.
The other puffins were quite jealous as they were afraid Archibald would begin to sing only opera to impress her.
One puffin, Mike, even considered flying a helicopter over the singing to spoil the performance.
Fortunately, his plans were unnecessary, since Archibald had no intention of singing opera.
This news disappointed Jenn, as she was hoping they would perform a duet together.
Suddenly, her fairy godmother, a fruit bat named Hermione appeared, startling Jenn.
"Hello Jenn the penguin", she said. "I bring you great news!"
Jenn was intrigued as she had never seen a polka dotted fruit bat before.
"Have you never seen a polka-dotted fruit bat before?" asked Hermione.
Jenn blushed as it appeared Hermione could read her thoughts, which was troubling.
After Jenn had composed herself, she asked what the great news was.
"Why your former husband, that pigeon with a toupee, has been found alive!"
"Eric's alive!" shouted Jenn. "I thought he had spontaneously combusted in that accident with the oven cleaner!"
"No dear, you were afraid you'd be caught since it was you who put the TNT into the oven" Hermione scolded.
"That was all Mike's idea!" replied Jenn. "I'm just a penguin!"
At that accusation, Mike flew into the room yelling, "I told you she'd try to blame me!"
Hermione was disgusted. "You'd try and blame innocent effeminate boy bands?"
From beneath her wing, Hermione produced a badge, "I'm with the ABI and you're under arrest!"
As Jenn was being led away, the puffins called after her, "Don't worry, we'll make a charity single called 'Free Jenn'!".
Jenn was taken away to the nearest animal penitentiary, also known as the zoo.
"Some fairy god-mother you are!" complained Jenn to Hermione.
"I was undercover you twit."

(Red lines by Thia. Blue lines by Bill. This document was created using Google's Writely service with its collaboration facility.)

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Bill's school days - "Technical Hitch"

Every Christmas, my primary school (for ages 5-11) would put on a play. The younger children would do the nativity (the biblical version of the birth of Jesus of Nazareth) and the older children would perform a traditional children's story.

For all that time I attended that school, I only remember being involved in a play four times. It was a small school, so there would have been enough for everyone to take even a small part every year. Somehow, the other three occasions were so traumatic I've suppressed the memory.

First time, I was a shepherd. I was the responsible one who stayed behind to look after the sheep while the other two went galavanting off to go see the baby Jesus.

Next up was possibly my finest role. A policeman in a funny version of Jack and the Beanstalk. I only had three lines, of which I can remember two.
Policeman: (Forgotten)
Jack: (Forgotten)
Policeman: "I hear you've gone round stealing words."
Jack: (Forgotten)
Policeman: "Yes yes, tell it to the birds."

For my last two years, they were so clearly impressed with my acting that I was given support roles -- lighting for Sleeping Beauty and backing music for Snow White. My adventures in lighting were uneventful.

Music for Snow White was in the form of a cassette tape with some recorded music and the cassette player was wired up to some amplified speakers. For some reason, the taped music wasn't in order, but the tape player had a counter and the teacher had prepared a list of songs with the corresponding tape positions. All I had to do was position the tape between songs and press play on cue. What could go wrong?

In preparation, I was told to position the tape ready for the first song. Right on cue, the music played perfectly for the first song. Second song, silence. (Dum dum daaaah!)

The teacher who organised the show checked in with me in my little cubby hole behind the stage to see what was wrong and then sheepishly announced to the audience that there was a "technical hitch". The audience giggled as I hastily sorted it out.

The problem was that between the preparation and the performance, the younger children's nativity play also made use of the tape player. By the time I got back, the tape counter was out of position. The first song was fine as all I had to do was press play, but for the second song, I had to position the tape according to an incorrect counter.

By the time she had returned from her announcement, I was well on the way to fixing the problem. This was the first glimmer of my inner engineer.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Heaven... I'm in heaven...

This cartoon sums me up perfectly. Enjoy.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Oh no, not I

They made a lovely salad.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

It's my life

A song from a fondly remembered period of my teenage years. Enjoy.

The chorus from this song was used in an infamous television commercial. In short, the advert featured a series of women having fun, many on roller-skates. It opened with a someone being pulled along on her skates by a dog, husky-style.

Being a big-dumb-male, I mainly remember it for the camera lingering on their crotches.

It wasn't until my 2nd or 3rd viewing that I realised the advert was for a brand of tampons. The advertisers of the day were so coy about the naughty bits that this detail completely passed me by.

Anyway, I was hoping I could link to a copy of the advert. Does anyone have a copy?