Animated short of the week (Can O' Swedes)

I have never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

-- George Gobel

Can O' Swedes by Andrew Kepple

I've has this one on my books for a while, but the only copy I could find was on the Newgrounds web site. Linking to it would have violated my "Never link to Newgrounds" rule. But then, I was emailed by someone who told me of this additional copy. Hurrah!

The animator is the second character to appear. He is not Eric Idle. There is also a hidden bonus in the animation. Can you find it?

UPDATE (3rd August)
Someone has posted a comment with a link to the Newgrounds copy of this animation. I'll leave the comment up but I do not recommend following that link. Do it only at your own risk.

Ales to Whales.

Ales
Wales
Whales

Meow... Feed me!

Or else!

Canada could just fall apart...

... if it were not held together by packing tape.
(As spotted on Google Sightseeing.)

The circle of life

Yin
Yang

Different kind of "Terror Alert"

There I was, minding my own business when...

...as I arrived into Coventry Rail station this morning, I was greeted by a thing of terror. The Monster.co.uk monster handing out business card sized advertisments...

I feel sorry for the poor fool they had bundled up in the costume.

Is the Penguin right?

Well, having munched another of the chocolate biscuit bars, I notice that there is a claim that "No word in the English language rhymes with...

...mouth, orange, silver or purple".

Well, are they right? I know purple has been a bone of contention for a long time with people saying "how about burp-le" and basically adding the "ul" sound to the end of existing words. Which, yes, makes it rhyme - but it isn't a "proper word" [adding 'll is mearly the concatination of a word with "will"... but I'm sure you knew that.] But Silver? Orange? Mouth? I'd not heard these claims before.

So do you know of any "proper" words out there that can rhyme with these?

They have found a cure!

Received.: 2005-07-24 22:24:48 Score: 50.06
Sender...: ivt[snip]ggz@mailpanda.com
Subject..: Crocodile: New antidote found.

Are you suffering with crocodiles? Worry no more! A 100% guarenteed cure is available
[for some reason, I'm thinking of The Crocs from "Pearls before Swine" ]

[and here they are them in action... from the 5th July 2005]
Read it daily at comics.com

Animated short of the week (Life)

I finally installed the sound card driver, but I've no speakers. Best I could manage for now was to plug the sound card into the telly's three coloured sockets, but it wouldn't play the sound without a video signal on the yellow socket. But it just about works.

Many thanks to Thia for filling in whilst I was out of action. In case you missed her choices...

A Frightened Boy by Joel Veitch
Bubble Pop by BossMonster

And now for this week's selection...

"LIFE As Seen by Cynical" by Aliyaho Pearce

He has an interesting simple style. Its really just photos and captions, but synchronised with the music, its very effective.

The music is excellent, but he has a tendancy to display the captions at the same time he is singing something entirely different to what is on the screen. But even then, some of the conjuctions are clever, putting "So this is goodbye." against "Are we alone?".

Even so, the imagary tends to overpower the music. Watch it once, then play it again with your monitor switched off. (Or just close your eyes.)

In my dreams I'm dying all the time.
Then I wake your kaleidoscopic mind.
I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to try.
So this is goodbye, this is goodbye.

--Aliyaho Pearce.

You can find more of his work on his website.

Clever street art.

This artist does some rather clever stuff. Go see.

(Thats a drawing. He didn't really go lift a load of blocks out of pavement.)

Remove Spam from your wife

    another spam message

Actually, the joke isn't worth the setup.

But since when have I let that stop me?

Received.: 2005-07-20 15:04:45
Sender...: NuaStark@f[snip]s.com
Subject..: Add spice to your life

...because there's already more than enough on your chili!!!

"Show me the way to go home"

    ..I'm tired and I want to go to bed...

More Google Map-related malarky!

"Thinking about suicide bombers"

Interesting piece from security writer Bruce Schneier.

Remember the 1996 movie Independence Day? One of the characters was a grizzled old fighter pilot who had been kidnapped and degraded by the alien invaders years before. He flew his plane into the alien spaceship when his air-to-air missile jammed, causing the spaceship to explode. Everybody in the movie, as well as the audience, considered this suicide bomber a hero.

What's the difference?

This Week's Animation Isn't...

I watched a few. I promise I did. I've seen humor based on sex, animals, politicians, sci fi, animation, cultural icons, fiends and every combination of them. Some were cute, many were appalling, and others were just stupid. At the end of my search (Why continue searching after you've found something?) I found this.

I know it's probably lame, but I spent a bit of time on it. It was, after the long and tedious search (okay, admittedly I have a low threshold for stupidity so it was only a few minutes) a relief to find something like this. Bill is much better at this animation search. He seems to find stuff with ease. I kept finding stuff that made me want to send the animator/authors for a psych exam.

"We spent all our cash on toast!"

First attmept with a $1,500 starting bid. Zero bids.
Second attempt with a $700 starting bid. Zero bids.

What's up with Golden Palace Casino? Isn't this stupid enough?

What does that have to do with the price of petrol?

Google's calculator can now currency convertions. It's useful to show Americans exactly how much petrol (gasoline) costs around here. My local filling station sells it for 85.9 pence per litre. But what does that mean?

Search Google for ".859 GBP/litre in USD/gallon"

Eeek!

What do you call that thing... you know...

  ...that meal thing you eat in the morning?


Well, Wednesday, in my mid-morning "I should have left the house 15 minutes ago" rush thing - which unfortunately negates my ability to produce my own morning-meal lead me to popping into McDonalds and grabbing my usual "I'm quite hungry and might not get out for lunch" meal thing... well, sitting on the train, tucking into my Bacon Roll I notice "the place for breakfast ™" on the wrapper...


What? Breakfast ™ is a trademark of McDonalds? How did they slip that one in? Do they have a trademark on Lunch, Dinner, Tea and Supper? How about elevenses? How about snack?

Are they going to be agressive enforcing their trademark? Do I already owe them £2.50 for mentioning breakfast™ in this blog entry?

Am I just being silly?

War of the worlds - the movie

Pro...

• H.G. Wells story.
• Steven Spielberg directing. (And not doing a kids film.)
• Excellent visuals.

Con...

• Tom Cruise.

I'll give it a miss, thanks.

For ten points ......

I was up at Lake Vyrnwy over the weekend and spotted a beautiful strainging tower. No pictures, I am sorry but my digi cam is have issues talking with any of my computers. Anyway, I was wondering who designed it. Does anyone know?

Oh and I know Vyrnwy is a reservoir btw. Thanks in advance.

My mail reader reviews directory enquiries services

My mail reader automatically sorts suspected spam mails into the Trash folder. It also reviews directory enquiries services.

How not to run a magazine

Once upon a time, Mr Bob McMillan subscribed to the magazine Wired. All went well until he decided he didn't want to buy it anymore, so he let the subscription lapse. Later, he was sent a nasty looking letter from a debt collection agency, demanding he renew his subscription.

For any publishers out there, this is a bad idea. It appears that Wired have scurried around and tried to make amends, but it remains that someone there thought it was a good idea.

In future, I'll aim for someone else's magazines. Only sincere begging apologies and lots of self-flagellation could convince me to change my mind. Sorry guys.

Spam tit-le

Received.: 2005-07-12 03:16:49
Sender...: pinchas@y[snip]o.com
Subject..: Baldness wont work

Dear sir,
    over these past few months I have been attempting to use my baldness that I ordered from you 04/03/05. I have followed the directions on the packet, but I just can't seem to get it working. Please can you help me. I have tried the following;

1) Baldness as a means to world peace.
    following the detailed directions lead me to insult the queen in the appartment above me which in turn caused world war 3
2) Baldness as a speed trap detector device.
    I burnt my head when trying to connect it to the lighter socket in my automobile
3) Baldness as a method of attracting "ladies"
    I had a friend shine a light on my baldness, as directed, but it caused local ships to run aground.
4) Baldness as a space-saving device
    NASA are not interested in my baldness.

Thank you for your time,
yours sincerely
yadda yadda yah.

Lame Penguin [the chocolate bar] joke...

... that made me laugh.

Q. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

A. If they flew over bays, they would be bagels!

Dual Monitor Madness

... or post-modernistical craziness

I've recently come into posession of a number slightly older PCs - having replaced the processor on one [exchanging a Slot1 PII 266 for a celeron 333/66 ] and having the graphics play up... I ended up sticking a PCI graphics card in... still no joy - then I noticed the processor wasn't properly fixed in... One firm push in later and we're booting into Wonderous Windows 98se. And... what's this ? Recognised new device? Hmm.. Let's stick a monitor on the end and see what happens... wooooooh cool! Dual monitors.

[and this is at a time when I'm looking for a cheap switch box to allow me to use one monitor, keyboard and mouse with multiple PCs...]

Crazy! Oh the fun we have!

Watch as the mouse ... appears on the 2nd screen... wooooooooh.

Maybe you just had to be there :-)

This Week's Animation (at Bill's request)

I had to watch this one a second time. The first time I was distracted trying to remember the name of that Stephen King movie about the clown.

Cheese on toast!

Best looking tower unit ever?

May be!

It's doing it again [Bill]

See I keep getting the error message [above] after a long delay in attempting to post...

Which I imagine means something like this [below]

Excuse my mind

People deal with grief and terror and all those sort of things in different ways. I tend to go into shock and then start using humour to deal with it... The bombings in London are a terrible thing... but...

My mind is at its most active creative between 5am and 8am... which explains why hearing "Mambo number 5" on the radio suddenly had my mind applying a new meaning to the lyrics of this otherwise sexist, sleazy piece of popular music...

Now that's just sick! But it's the way my mind deals with things like this - otherwise I just shut down and can't focus on things, too busy worrying about the possibilities... I travel daily on the Birmingham/London rail line, as well as the Worcester London line, and I know that they're potential terrorist targets. Which is obviously worrying. [ As I boarded the trains today, I pondered where I'd put a bomb if I was going to "blow it up" and decided that there was no good answer. Anywhere would be just as bad as anywhere else. But I might stick to using the local services tonight, just to be on the safe side... ]

Yesterday, after the London bombings there was a bomb scare here in Coventry at Pool Meddow bus station which lead to the ring-road being closed for about 4 hours and businesses and schools nearby being evacuated - ending with a suspicious device undergoing a controlled detonation, and I've heard of similar things happening all over the country.

Going into work today, there are police everywhere. All over the transport network. I have the feeling though they're just there for show and if someone was to try something, it would succeed anyway.


My big worry, like I'm sure most people's is, is that the incident yesterday in London is just the start of something bigger.


Obviously, all sympathies to those affected by the bombs, those who have lost family members, friends etc. and I apologise again about my brain, and for my desire to share the contents of it.

Death of a laptop. (Almost)

My trusty laptop computer. Served me well through many years from humble beginings as an ebay purchase.

In that time, it has survived spyware attacks, viruses (all cleaned up), had all manner of gadgets plugged into it, survived the upgrade from dial-up to broadband, moved from Coventry to Daventry and has been dropped on the floor once when I dozed off while it was on my lap.

Its not quite dead yet. The CD drive is making a strange noise all the time but it will still boot it up and I can use it, but I don't really want to in case the damage gets worse. The network interface still works, so I should be able to get all my files off.

This could be the impetus to actually go out and buy a new computer. In the meantime, have a read of this.

Ebay feedback... [1 in a series of... oh I can't be bothered to make a series...]

Courier Crap!! Had to go and collect myself from depot

I have to agree that that is poor courier service that, rather than delivering your ebay item they kidnap you instead, causing you to have to go and pick yourself up from their depot...

"Fashion! turn to the left...

...Fashion! turn to the right. Oooh, fashion! We are the goon squad and we’re coming to town. Beep-beep! Beep-beep!" _{Fashion, © David Bowie}

As an animator and artist, I often find myself watching people [ I noticed something interesting about the eye the other day...] and one of the things that often occur to me is women and trousers. Mostly when I notice women and trousers, it's from behind rushing up the stairs changing trains and so on. Now, I do understand that men and women are differently shaped - hips and everything. But how come every pair of women's trousers look like the image on the left?
Notice the "snug bum shape fitting". Without fail, you look at any lady wearing trousers and they snuggly fit around their bottom drawing attention to the curves and grooves. You couldn't get much additional information about their bottom shape if they were naked.

So what's wrong with that?

Well, take men's trousers. From the back they look like the image on the right. Where did the bum go? instead of something snug and shapely we have a baggy bottom area. Of course, from the front men's trousers draw attention to the placement and shape of the penis. [Although this is related to the type of material with denim and other thicker materials commonly being more concealing]

So, why is this? Do all designers like revealing ladies bottoms to the general public? Do the curvy-snug-bum trousers feel more comfortable than the baggy bottomed men's trousers?

Of course, some things are worse offenders... do I need to mention "sweat pants" ?

We know that men have bottoms - 100,000 builders' "bums" hold testament to that fact. [see bum cleavage... no ... on second thoughts, don't] so why aren't men's trousers bum hugging too ? Does the bum-hugging perform some "secondary function" that is completely alien to the world of men?

Why am I pondering about this? Well... It's something I've become aware of over the last 5 years or so. Are we going back to Victorian times with our fashion? Will later trouser designs have "bum extensions" or "bum supports" - maybe special "trouser hoops"?

Does anyone have any answers?

Spam me baby one more time

News just in! Previous message "The smartest way to save money, buy Viagra online." _{[3rd one listed]} is shown to be false. Or is it just the similarly titled knock-off that's the problem?

Received.: 2005-07-05 11:04:11
Sender...: rqqgngixfqyjc@y[snip]o.com
Subject..: Via-ggra is Lousy roI

So... Viagra gives a lousy return on investment. You have a big short-term gain, but all to soon it bottoms out leading to a sharp decline. Before you know it, you're left with what you started with originally. You can keep throwing money into Viagra, but the pattern remains the same. Big gains, big losses.

I think the trick is to sell it when it reaches it's zenith. If you wait too long, no-one would be interested - even if you were giving it away.

Pook!

Just my "Useful webservice of the week" [number 1, possibly in a series, although it's just as likely to not be one... ]

http://www.pookmail.com/

Why do they need email details? How about a time-limited email account that only lasts for 24 hours - you get your details, but none of their subsequent spam.

Ta da!

Useful, in the extreme [and other rock groups]

~*~ College Girl Webcams ~*~

Well... what else could they mean?

Infertility timebomb

It seems we are at risk of an infertility timebomb. Girls are too fat and they not having enough sex that they are not pregnant while they are still teenagers. But they musn't have so much sex that they get chlamydia. Oh no, that would make them infertile.

Looking at these maps, infertility is the least of my worries. The population has more than doubled in the past 50 years. We're not exactly going to run out of people any time soon.

Animated short of the week. (Arookoo Toe)

Many Japanese expressions sound just like English. Which means hilarity all round. Maybe.
This one is based around the opening theme music to Neon Genesis Evangelion, a Japanese cartoon.

Arookoo Toe by James "Basalisk" Vandenburg.

I have to know though. What Japanese phrase sounds like "You love to lick my pussy there"?

(Don't worry, there no rude images accompanying that phrase, just in case you reading this while you have the vicar around for tea.)

Sue D'oh Koo II

The Independent newspaper is running a Sudoku "grandmaster" contest. Earlier today, I finally attended the regional final. We were each given four puzzles and 45 minutes to complete them. The fastest 100 to complete enter the final. If there are not enough, the most complete incompletes make up the full 100.

Roughly 140 people qualified in my area. When I arrived, I counted around 20 people. Either a lot of people turned out to be busy that day, or there were many sessions running that day.

Half way through the third puzzle, I heard the first click of the time stamping machine. I counted 8 clicks before the 45 minutes were up where I was around two thirds of the way through the final puzzle.

Looks like I won't be there at the final, unless freaky conditions allow me in to make up the full one hundred. Ah well.

But, I did come away with really cool goodie bag!
I can get the T-shirt on, but its very skin tight and my belly pokes out. Looks like it will be destined to hang on the rail for all eternity. (Click on the photo to see a larger version of the same picture.)

You're bannered!

Is it just me, or does this diary look at bit different?
(Banner created by Thia. Many thanks.)

Its better in the original Klingon.

[Head explodes]

You've got work it out for yourselves!

Sign the pledge!

"I will strive to be more of an individual and not just do what other people do but only if 400 other people will strive to be more of an individual, too, and not just do what other people do."

— Charlie Ravioli

RE: Train me

Well... clever wordplay was never my thing.

Work is changing [the fuchsia's bright, the fuchsia's orange] but as part of it I have to get in a little bit earlier (I'm becoming responsible for maintaining various webservers etc)... so the 3rd day of getting used to going in for an almost completely regular working day and what happens? A bridge collapses in the night so my trains from Kiddy are quite eratic [2 or 3 cancellations, the one I end up on is 25 minutes late and is cancelled when it hits Snow Hill (not that the cancellation affects me - I get off there anyway - but I'm sure it really peed off all those who were going further on)... Of course, I didn't get in until 11 last night >flashback<[ate tea, in bed around 2, waking up at 6... um.. sheet! 7 - no time for breakfast - quick change, animals fed - ran to station...] then the trip from new Street was hampered with picnics... I mean delay as the train waited for a guard [holding up 3 other services due to leave minutes afterwards]

ho hum
Here's to a better week of train travel next week.