Bill P. Godfrey et al

Monday, January 31, 2005

When we remembered Psion

My favourite computer I've owned (or shared) would have to be my old Psion 3c portable computer. That's beating a Sinclair ZX81, a BBC micro, various PCs running DOS or Windows, a couple of Commodore 64s, a super expanded Amiga 1200 and a Palm Tungsten T3.

It very nicely closed in half, protecting the screen and keyboard. Closed, it fitted inside a jacket pocket quite neatly. It was a truly portable computer. I even once used it in the toilets of a pub when an idea came to me and I just had to have access to a word processor. Try that with a laptop.

As palmtop computers go, this one was fairly standard for most features, but the inclusion of the word processor and the real keyboard integrated in set it apart. I could write stuff by holding it and typing with just one hand, although it was easier to hold it with my fingers and type with both my thumbs.

These days, I carry a Palm around with me. It became the type I use quite by accident, because it came as part of a GPS navigator. I try, but its not very good for writing. You hold a stylus in your hand and write on a touchpad. Its not true handwriting recognition, but you have to remember 26 gestures and few strokes which form punctuation or pressing 'shift'. I never got the hang of it, and I prefer to use the virtual keyboard.

Here, the keyboard comes up on the touchpad and you stab at the keys with the stylus. (Or "the stick" -- Thia.) I think faster than I can type this way, not good.

I still have the old Psion, but its broken down too much. It only uses RAM storage, and the battery container is loose. Disconnect the main batteries by accident, and once the backup battery has been drained, bye bye documents. Worst of all, the nice rubber couted case has melted and is now all sticky. Urgh.

Here's what I'd like out of my next portable computer (please)
  • Psion style case and keyboard.
  • Word processor.
  • No stylus or pointing device. (I hate those, really.)
  • Multiple flash card slots. (SD/MMC preferably)
  • Colour screen, high res.
  • Easy to transfer files onto a PC (via USB?)
  • Usual applications. (Diary, alarm clock, spreadsheet, voice recorder/playback)
  • MP3 player.
  • Photo viewer.
  • Downloadable games and mini-apps.
  • Several other things that don't spring to mind as I type this.
Dag nabbit, I'm tired. Good night.

Size is important

Today was one of my "I don't feel like cooking anything" days, so I went into the local chippy for some food on my way home.

(Chippy: n. Place that sells chips. Chip: n. Potato cut into chips and fried. Similar to what Americans call fries, but thicker, and nothing like what Americans call chips, except the potato-ness.)

Anyway, I asked for "small chips" and I was served a "regular" portion. It turned out I should have asked for a "cone sized" portion. They have cone, regular and large sizes, but no small size. Ask for a small size and you get a regular size. Excuse me while my head explodes.

The chips are pretty good though.

The part man... part Troll that is...

  ...Bill Bailey.                                       google-rific or what pop-pickers?!?

Once again, Google in it's infinate sense of surreal simularities has decided to put 2 adverts for "Bill Bailey" in it's advert bar on the side. Not entirely sure why [It couldn't be a combination of Eddie Izzard, the Oracle and some Penguins... could it? ]

But ... I'd have to recommend his strange world to everyone. I caught a large chunk of "part troll" the other week when I was channel hopping and found it lucking in the bowels of channel 4. To be honest, he's always impressed me. As a long-time regular team captain on comedy quiz show "Never mind the buzzcocks" he tends to have me chuckling nicely into my cocoa whilst wearing the pink furry imaginary slippers that my wardrobe lacks.

Quite the musical genius too.

(As a sensible aside, only 2 adverts total were shown ? Are they going for quality over quantity [maybe I should follow their example?] or did someone pour milk into their flux capacitor and chocolate on their jam trousers? I think I'm either bored, ill, or in a silly mood today and quite obviously lying about this being a brief sensible aside. Oh no! I've just realised I'm writing all this in parenthesis! I've not done that since 1998 ! Although that was the famous "brace, bracket and parenthesis rush of 1066" and to be expected. But, we don't want interjections of random punctuation. It's just not called for !)

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Animated short of the week. (Penguin calls)

A change from the usual music video I like. Some phone calls to a man with an... interesting... relationship with his mother.
I like 2 and 7. Your favourites?

Thursday, January 27, 2005

The oracle speaks.

I've had a little play with an age old internet game, the Internet Oracle. Send a question to with tellme as the subject, asking a question. In return, you are given a question from someone else to answer.
Wanted - Small minority wanted, to ruin it for the rest of us. There's always one, is it you?
It was a joke small advert I saw ages ago. The response...
Of course its me, and i'll ruin all your [CENSORED] unless u stop raggin on minorities, hater
This isn't exactly a good piece. Sorry.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Return... of the Fridge!! Mwah ! Ha! Ha! Ha!

  After spending time trying to get Bill's fridge to work... [It doesn't like me, for some reason] I found this...

It's Eddie Izzard's fridge... drag the words and click "say it" to hear Eddie enunciate it, which I find quite amusing... although rather limited.

Cake, or Death?

Monday, January 24, 2005

Lack of motivation.

  I'm putting it down to the flu-like illness I was fighting last week, but, over the past few days I've been suffering with a serious lack of motivation.

Of course, according to that bastion of intellectual thought that is GMTV, [note for non-British readers, that comment requires sarcasm goggles set to "high"] today is the most depressing day of the year. Being extremely scientific with their methods, they sent Keith Chegwin to Grimsby offering people £5 notes or lollipops [to cheer them up] , and a reporter [whose name escapes me] to a railway station somewhere with flowers and chocolates. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what they intended to prove. Maybe if you take sad people and give them something it will make them happy?

It must be a slow morning for news.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Delightful parenting

Whilst browsing some older articles here, I observed this advert on Thia's post about changing the name of this diary.

Such delightful parenting!

I'm at a loss to explain why it appeared on that page. Google adwords works by advertisers picking keywords used in the text of the website. What could have caused this one?

Animated short of the week. (Falling...)

Here's why you should never run around flapping your arms when you are a mile up in the air.

I'm Festive on the Inside

I was supposed to attend a party tonight. I was dressed up (or as dressed up as I get anyway) and in the vehicle when I finally realized I was not going to go. I don't do well at parties. I find it a bit like I imagine it would be if I were on trial for some huge crime. I could list the countless ways in which I am miserable at parties. I could tell you I don't feel attractive enough, or smart enough, or interesting enough. Blah, Blah, Blah. Suffice to say I am, in my opinion, generally not enough.

So, I went to Dollar Tree instead and the ever popular Wally world (translation for Bill & Neil: Wal-Mart). Instead of going to a nice hotel, watching the planned entertainment, or maybe [gasp] dancing, I took another path. It led me to shop for groceries.

Therefore, I have decided that I must be festive on the inside, carrying my personal party with me wherever I go. Attending a "party" would be overkill. So much so I might explode into a colorful shower of confetti someone will have to sweep up later.

Hey, it's my phobia/neurosis/pain-in-the-ass. When you have one of your own you can rationalize it any way you please. That's the rule. It's in the handbook.

Friday, January 21, 2005


(Hmmm, Neil has been busy. Perhaps I ought to name this diary in his honour instead.)

I have an interesting condition. I'm both a pyromaniac and a pyrophobe. I love decorative candles, but I can't go out of the house until I'm sure that each one is out. Checking each candle involves staring at the wick for about a minute until I'm darn sure there is no flame, and then going back to make doubly sure.

Explains a lot. Or maybe it doesn't explain anything at all. Or maybe life is just confusing.

Fun [but deadly!!] little game

  Play the Elektra "Ninja assassin" game - really, it's quite fun...

The game itself plays like a "Final Fantasy" combat sequence, except, you can play against up to 3 other people. Fun!

This is a movie that could either be quite good, or quite bad. The "comic book" story of Elektra is quite interesting - she's always been one of the more interesting characters [although how she keeps coming back from the dead escapes me...]

Anyone know why Chinese food smells so good?

I live just up the road from a Chinese takeaway, and many a night I return home to the appetising wafts of sweet-and-sour pork/chicken, chow mein and all sorts of delightful aromas...
Of course, whether I'm hungry or not, this starts me salivating prior to entering my house and instantly makes me thing "Mmm. I should have some Chinese food". There is no other type of food that has quite the same effect. Why does Chinese food make me [ and "us" assumed ] want to go and eat it, hungry or not? Is it pumped full of strange addictive drugs? Is it a secret Asian martial art [a part of ninjitsu? ] designed to cause people to want to eat poisoned food?
All I know, is it's hard to resist.

Fortunately, I make a pretty good stir fry [and my fake chicken + vegetable rice is quite tasty]...

Thursday, January 20, 2005

où est la qualité, jour le temps télévision ?

Suddenly, I am enlightened to the plight of students searching for cult televisual entertainment between the hours of 9am and 6pm...

Having been "off sick" from work for the past couple of days [some kind of flu/cold thing, not nice at all, wouldn't recommend it] I have been dismayed at the lack of decent "daytime television" on the main terrestrial channels in England. If you are not interested in ...
  1. Watching people rummage through their attics, pulling out "antiques" and selling them at car boots/ auction,
  2. Watching people redecorate their houses,
  3. Watching people "landscape" their garden,
  4. Watching people look for/ buy a new house...
...then don't be caught at home during the hours of nine to five if you can help it. The daytime line-up is particularly limited on the four main channels... Which explains why shows like "Richard and Judy" and "The Teletubbies" achieve cult student followings. They are the only things shown on tele that have any vague individual shreds of entertainment value.

I suspect it's part of a government conspiracy to get people off their behinds and into low-paid employment [ and if not employment, then careers as self-employeed gardeners, decorators, antique dealers etc. ] Possibly to also to discourage people from taking "sickies" from work more often than they probably should. I know that I've returned to work, probably a couple of days before I'm properly recovered because I can walk, I'm not breaking out in cold sweats, and apart from a little cough [which is good - getting all that phlegm off my chest! ] I'd rather be out of the house and doing something useful.

See! It worked! I am another "victim of daytime TV" statistic showing the policy is working. Bring back the days of "programmes for schools" - at least then there'd be a chance of finding something intellectually stimulating...

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Animated short of the week. (She blocked me)

Here's a sad tale about unrequited love.
She blocked me by Bob Ricci and Samb.
While you are watching it, I'll go take a shower. BRB.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Big Brother is...

 ...being watched.
Now I'm not particularly a fan of reality television. But this years Celebrity Big Brother seems to have caught my attention. Not in any big way, but, I came to the realisation tonight that I've watched between 10 and 30 minutes of Big Brother every night this week. This obviously leads me to wondering why ?

Well, obviously, first I checked for any scar tissue indicating the presence of alien implants [ which might also explain my uncanny ability to break electronic toys just by touching them ] But no! Nothing obvious existed. So why could I be watching 9 people - most of whom I don't know (although, apparently, they're celebrities) for a fair percentage of my televisual stimulation rather than doing, to quote 80's children's TV show Why don't you , something less boring instead?

The only conclusion I could come to is that there just isn't that much on television that entertains me anymore. [Which is one of the reasons I've not gone and bought into any of the "digital television" packages. When I look at people who have digital TV I usually find the same problem, you go through all the channels and end up watching something like one of the "home shopping" channels for entertainment ... of course, this process can take the best part of an hour - whereas with 4 channels, it takes a couple of minutes. It makes me wonder how much of our lives are taken up by channel hopping ? ]

Now, where did I put my book?

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Good to have a sense of priority.

The pope knows whats important.
Vatican City- Pope John Paul II put lobbying against gay marriage at the top of the Vatican's agenda for 2005 on Monday and also urged politicians in prosperous nations to do more for the millions of hungry people around the globe.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Just another manic...

Wednesday! I wish it was Friday, 'cause that's my fun-day, my I-don't-have-to-work-tomorrow-day...

It's just another manic Wednesday! [with apologies to the Bangles] But, on a positive note, at least the trains were keeping to their timetables more-or-less, which makes a change.

Yesterday was my youngest's fourth birthday - it seems like only yesterday she was a blurry smear on an ultrasound and now she's a big girl. Although, to be honest, it seems like only yesterday I was ( well... not a blurry smear - I have no recollection of the time prior to my birth !! ) a 70's child running around in my little red car, playing my red plastic "electric guitar" (with yellow wobble-bar no-less!) and banging on my tin drum. Days seemed to be so long, and yet pass so quickly. She's always been ahead of herself, wanting to be older. [Rolling over from birth, sitting unsupported a few months old, walking around at 8-9 months... etc]

It makes me feel like I must be getting old.

To post...perchance to sleep

Greetins all! My name is Kendra, and though you might have seen my name up as a contributor for some time now, this is the first time I've! :) Hum,....what should my first contribution peace....a cure for all disease.....a good recipe for chocolate chip cookies?? Na, I'll start with something simple, a post about posting (Did I mention I was brillent ;)
It is 2:30 am where I am, and I am posting so that I might sleep. As promised, this day has not passed without a posting from yours truly. Perhaps my next post will bring an end to world hunger, but for now it will just have to pacify Thia. ;)

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Et Alia (Yes we are plural, and I think we might be neutral.)

Quick note to Bill. On a whim, and quite possibly an unwritten dare from dear old Neil, I changed the title. However, it is your diary. Feel free to:

a) change it back
b) kick my hiney
c) leave it as is
d) banish me from your kingdom and send me back to BBS-land
e) all or any combination of the above

(Thia genuflects with all the seriousness you've grown to expect from her.)

Monday, January 10, 2005

Time Dilation...

... or the in-ability to come up with something interesting to say by means of an introduction.

So, here I am. Invited to donate my ramblings to the incredibly inaccurately titled "Bill and Thia's incredibly Stupid Diary"... I am, of course, considering it inaccurate due to the lack of "incredible stupidity" and the fact that the contributors have changed since its conception. Maybe I was being a tad melodramatic about it being incredibly inaccurate. Maybe I should have stuck with mildly inaccurate ? I'm not really sure. Anyway, here I am.

I was going to write something about Jerry Springer, the Opera! [which was shown on BBC 2 at the weekend] but I worked out that my whole [laboured] points were;
  1. I liked it.
  2. If people don't like something, they shouldn't sit through 2 hours of it just so they can complain about it later.
So I'll save you all the rambling rant that really wasn't going anywhere interesting.
Anyway, back to the grindstone.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Animated short of the week. (Magical Trevor)

A bit of a classic this week. A tale of an under appreciated magician, but best of all, the secret to the beyond!
Magical Trevor by J. Picking.
(Perhaps thats where the Bermuda Triangle leads.)

They Say I Have An Appetizing Cherry Flavor?

Imagine my surprise when I found this while surfing with Bill tonight. It says I "help reduce nervousness and excitability". Hmmm. Obviously they've never met me.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

I died 100 years ago

(From the cemetery of Clark, Texas, USA, found using Google Image search.)

It could be worse. Search Google Images for 'Kendra Shepard'. (Sorry K.)

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Bye Bye Larry's

For four years I've worked in the same company and developed a routine. Like most people I had my regular haunts for lunch time. My favorite was Larry's Deli. It helped that it's owned by a fantastic family headed by Joel and Trish. You'll notice that neither Joel nor Trish is Larry. All the newcomers to the deli assume that Joel is Larry until they've been around for a while. It's obvious that sons Chris and Kurt aren't Larry since Joel always calls them by name. They of course call him Dad leaving room for Larry speculation. It's even more obvious that neither grandmother Edie nor Kurt's girlfriend Nicole are Larry.

So I'm left to wonder, was there a Larry? If so, what happened to him? Is he off in some distant Larryland? Did he leave of his own accord? Hmmm... None of la familia Larry's seems homicidal, although Chris can be a bit grumpy now and then. But that's the problem child for you. (I must admit I'll miss you Grumpelstiltskin. You're like the little brother I never had. Thank God.) So, I personally choose to assume that Larry succumbed to spontaneous combustion leaving his beloved deli a ghost-town like venture in need of new blood. Enter Joel and Trish's clan.

It's funny that I really didn't think of Larry or his fate much before leaving that job last week. By my last day, I knew this is the thing I'll miss most. My daily trek to Larry's. So, thank you Joel for laughing at my inclusion of rarely used vegetables in my chef salad requests and for making a damn fine omelet. Thank you for insisting on calling gourmet chicken salad "grommet" instead. Thank you Trish for the little asides under your breath regarding whatever the others were talking about. Since you've not been around as much lately, I want you to know you've been missed. Thank you Edie for having the cutest German accent on earth, especially for calling out my orders were "valking" (that's to-go for the rest of us). Thanks Chris for the bad jokes, snarky 'tude and gentle spirit all that silliness hides. And thank you for squishing my grilled cheese sandwiches just like my mom used to when I was a kid. Thank you Kurt and Nicole for all my damn fine chef salads, for all the Big High Octanes and Big Low Octanes (large colas and large diet colas), the kind hearts and big smiles. Thanks for the jokes and kindness. I will miss you all.

I've Been Paroled!

My last day at my old job was Thursday of last week. I thought I'd share the cake my co-workers bought for my last day.

Wish me luck! I start my new job tomorrow.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Animated short of the week. (Llamas)

This one cheers Thia up when she's had a hard day. It might work for you too. Give it a listen.
(Quack quack!)

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Where did the lake go?

(Larger image) Happy 2005