Bill P. Godfrey et al

Monday, June 27, 2005

The Spamtrawler once again cums into port...

...and what fresh bounty does she dribble onto dry land?

Received.: 2005-06-25 04:52:42
Sender...: igvyiehtwjba@k[snip]
Subject..: do you have "small" problem? brad

Brad has a small problem. A very small problem. Like Gulliver before him, a night out drinking with the lads has lead to him being stuffed on board a ship heading for foreign lands. But when he sobered up he found himself captive, tied down and poked by the little sticks of little people. All because he offended the emporer of Lilliput the night before by telling him that "he didn't look as big as he did on TV".

Well, now Brad, and countless dozens like him need not worry anymore. Just dial 8-100-555-B-CLEAR and a team of BROBDINGNAG exterminators will be on your case. With their marvellous hoze suction device, and strange monkeys you'll be free of your bonds before you can say "anything that will take a fair while to say"

Received.: 2005-06-25 01:42:15
Sender...: lpelletier@c[snip]
Subject..: Last longer in bed

So, you want to last longer in bed? Simply arrange to work between 1pm and 5pm and more of the morning can be spent dreaming of all those things you could be doing had you been earning money at work instead of sleeping.

Received.: 2005-06-24 18:17:34
Sender...: rectums@traumurlaub-s[snip]
Subject..: The smartest way to save money, buy Viagra online.

Want to buy a new house? A dog? A new car? A his and hers matching tea cosy? Well, throw away your old bank acount! Cut up your credit cards! Don't sign that low rate loan agreement! Simply buy lots of Viagra, online. Guarenteed a 75% rise in your underperforming moneymakers. Wear a plastic mac. Offer void in Utah.

Received.: 2005-06-24 21:07:31
Sender...: fletcherkjw7@p[snip]
Subject..: szb - make sex longer

Stuck on that report? Need to bulk it out a bit? Using semantical reasoning and throwing away those old "oversize fonts" we will show you how in the new book from Parotdime publishing "Make sex longer (and how to enlarge other commonly used words to pad out reports, timesheets and annual tax returns)"

Wow at the ease of using "the dot method" - watch as sex grows from 3 letters to 5, to 7 to 9... slap your head when we reveal the "ural relations" clause that adds additional words into the frey "I had lunchural relations with Bill" and many more wheezes that will get your tired 50 word essay looking like that 10,000 word dissertation that it should be...


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