Bill P. Godfrey et al


Thursday, June 23, 2005

What is S4 perm and why you would want to cover your girl in it!

...or, a mockery-making [like a rockery making, but with mocks and no flowers] of something mildly amusing [Bob Monkhouse ? Again! Who would have thought it !] caught in the spam nets ...

Received.: 2005-06-18 18:46:04
Sender...: kirbyshaferse@[censored].co.uk
Subject..: how to cover your girl in s4perm


Intresting, I thought. Using plastic explosives to create a haircut which can be used to conceal a lady-friend or relation. Then I remembered, it's C4 not S4... So what is S4?

Using dictionary.com's acronym finder I had five possibilities.

  1. Seychelles 470
  2. Logistics/Embark Office (USMC)
  3. Stainless Sanitary Space System
  4. Supersonicsoundscapes (event promotions/record store)
  5. Supply Officer (Army)

hmm. Very interesting, but totally nonsensical. Maybe I shouldn't be thinking of "perm" as a hairstyle [although it would work if you covered your girl with a supply office hairstyle... maybe... but doesn't the army follow the short back and sides M.O. ?]

Another search ensued...

  1. (n) A permanent.
  2. A city of west-central Russia on the Kama River in the foothills of the Ural Mountains. Founded in the early 18th century when a copper foundry was built there, it grew rapidly as an industrial center in the 19th century. Population: 1,091,056.
  3. (n) Any of several long-lasting hair styles usually achieved by chemical applications which straighten, curl, or wave the hair.
  4. (v) give a permanent wave to
  5. Permeance (unit of permeability of an object)
  6. Processless Electron Recording Medium


Now this was making little or no sense. So status quo ["I like it, I like it, I la, la, la, like it, la, la, la, like it - here we go-oh, rocking all over the world"] for me there then. So lets make sense of these sentences...

  1. how to cover your girl in Seychelles 470 permanent...
    ...which sounds like some strange cross between shampoo and quick drying cement.
  2. how to cover your girl in Logistics/Embark Office, city of west-central Russia on the Kama River in the foothills of the Ural Mountains...
    ...which makes no sense at all. Hmm.
  3. how to cover your girl inn to give a permanent wave to Stainless Sanitary Space System...
    "Oh no he's covering his girl inn..."
    "The Stainless Sanitary Space System has developed a permanent wave"
    "drat and double drat you fiendish girl-inn-coverer you!"
  4. how to cover your girl in Supersonicsoundscapes Permeance...
    ...which could cause problems when she holds your floppy disk!
  5. how to cover your girl in Supply Officer Processless Electron Recording Medium...
    ...that refers to the special film used to retain genetic information about the Army's supply officers in order to facilitate the emergency cloning - should they be caught with their pants down without a supply officer. Of course, much of this is surplus now and is being sold to fashion houses who are making nice dresses out of the material.


Fashionable dresses from Supply Officer gentics? Magnetic, faster than the speed of sound, capes ? Defense mechanism against all Stainless Sanitary Space Systems ? Nonsense ? More nonsense?

If only I hadn't deleted the message, I might know exactly what they intended me to think....

(the "Spam detection" system rates messages by a point system, and sends out a daily "I think these are junk mail" message with the sender and subject - and a nice link to click if it's in fact one of the many mailing lists I receive...)

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