Bill P. Godfrey et al


Friday, April 08, 2005

Heathcare for the Terrified 2

Right it's me again. No they didn't kil me during the operation (apparently the do kill between 1:15000 and 1:25000).

MONDAY

Arrived 7am Monday morning - they knew who I was - unsurprising after the state I was in during the pre op.
Told to wait in the patients breakfast room. Yes I am have not been allowed to eat for seven hours or drink for two and they say to wait where there is FOOD.

I had checked and found out I was first on the list scheduled for 9am. I actually had to tell them this once they had shown me to a bed & said "It's a matter of hanging around". Thanks to one of us knowing what was going on, I actually got my pre med happy pills. Personally, I am not convinced they worked but I was laughing at one point and that sounds very unlike me.

The anaethatists deputy came up to say hello and we confirmed no needles and my friend stays or I leave. I have to say the anaethetists are the nicest people I have come across.

After hanging around for an hour waiting for happy pills to work, I got wheeled down to theatre. Yes you are still awake at that point. It is actually an adjacent room where you get knocked out. Because I was "treat as child" like, my friend came with me (looked daft in a surgical gown) and true to their word I got gas through a clear mask so knew nothing of any needles.

I remember counting four breaths of gas but nothing else until I came round afterwards. I certainly don't remember waking up with a tube down my throat. I got wheeled back to the ward about 10am and dozed the rest of the afternoon.

Periodically they check your blood pressure and stick the peg thing on your figer and check your ear temperature. I also got water as soon as I woke up. Remember I said I didn't want that thing in my hand?? Guess what was there when I woke up? Yep one plastic tubing in left hand vein. Cue minor freak (still stoned remember). At 10.15 I said out, at 2pm I said out by 4.30 pm I was awake enough to say "get it out I am leaving". This did cause movement but it is such a shame they didn't listen from the first two times I asked.

Anyway, I got dressed on my own while nurse 3 was "having to ask a doctor" WRONG I am the patient you WILL do as you are told. "We need to get a doctor to talk to you" AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. See last post from me about this.

Well, I was dressed, booted and coated when they came back. I explained I have issues with needles, as I had mentioned hundreds of times and it was coming out now. I think only the leaving made them do it, although I was a bit groggy and would have stayed if they had taken it out the first time I asked. Now I was conscious and freaked.

The surgeon actually came up "you need to stay in a night". By this time I was in nope mode. Many hospitals do this as day surgery and as it was done at 9am I saw no reason not to leave. The official reason is to monitor bleeding but the risk of bleeding is from 1 to 20 days afterwards so that excuse doesn't hold water. Well, to be honest I can rest much better at home in an environment that I am comfortable in without bleeping, nurses assistants shoving temperature gauges in my ear and a patient opposite asking to die.

I actually got out of there at 6pm. With 20 cocodomol tables (this is supposed to be seven days supply but I was taking two every four hours - how is your maths?). But they did give me two pieces of bread and butter. No I am no kidding - I was actually offered toast first. I also got a leaflet which I will hold onto because it is good for a laugh mentionin that I should resume my normal life and diet ASAP. This is on the same sheet where I am told to stay of work for 14 days.

As far as I can tell, they haven't dislocated my jaw (it comes off its hinges when I yawn so I was a bit concerned) or chipped my teeth.

Arrived home to find two cats that parents had been unable to catch. Message from annoyed cattery person. Report from housemate that when they arrived home it looked like world war 3 had taken place. Washing machine, microwave etc moved. Decided to deal with it Tuesday as in no position to catch them - hardly taking it easy.

Monday night wasn't fun. I was very tired but had huge coughing fit at home and was a bit scared to see a bit of blood.. I was also bloody cold. And before anyone says anything yes I was on my own that night another major nono. With the aid of aforementioned soluble tablets every four hours I slept four hours at a time.

TUESDAY

Tuesday was much the same - quick email to work to say I am alive but then back to sleeping and drinking. With burping. Darned fizzy painkillers.

Not impressed by my attempt at fishfingers. Had a bit, binned the rest.

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OFF TOPIC

Did get hold of very understaning cattery person - presumably guessed the gist from my grunting apologies. Housemate wouldn't go near cats. Got cat box and put in kitchen. Trapped cat in kitchen, picked it up and put it in box. Shut door. Result: cat 0 human 1. Time approx 1 minute. Realized second cat no inside house. Swore.

Initiated cunning plan. Banged food bowl. Moved caught cat to hall so eliminate mewling consultation between them.

Cat 2 arrived at warp 8 (Teagan for Bills benefit). Shut conservatory doors. Cat went to kitchen. Cat ran to rear reception room window. Grabbed cat, stuffed cat in box, shut door. Result cat 0 human 2 total time approx 3 mins.

Despaired of parents. Took painkillers got driven to cattery.

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RESUME TOPIC

Went back to taking painkillers, burping and sleeping.

NEVER READ THE INTERNET!

I have to say at this point that I have read some real horror stories on the internet about post operative pain. Now there are one of three possibilities
  1. I have been very lucky (unusual)
  2. People who have written before are complete woosses - wimps for our US friends
  3. They haven't taken their pain relief properly
I won't say that this has been a bundle of laughs so far and I know that I am only on day four but the pain has been unpleasant but no where near as bad as I anticipated. The worst thing is first thing in the morning because I still breathe through my mouth and it makes my throat really dry.

I actually managed a slice and a half of bacon and fried egg centre on Tuesday. The amusement caused by my attempting to make this is a whole new post. Maybe later.

WEDNESDAY

Wednesday I was awake a bit more but I do sound strange - almost with the flat quality that the hearing impaired have. Talking doesn't hurt too much but certainly the back of the tongue doesn't seem as supple as it used to. Cue much cheering amongst those who know me.

Tried reducing down to one cocodomol with reasonable success. Chewing gum has also helped too. Managed a quarter of baked potato and cheese - even the skin!

Decided to ignore advice to go onto scratchy foods in case it made the pain worse and took the scab of my throat and made it bleed. Gently, gently, catchy monkey.

Fizzy painkillers causing serious burping issues unfortunately this usually initiates coughing which does hurt my throat. Still on one painkiller (got solpadeine plus which as near as I can tell is the same as cocodomol).

Now refered to as 'smelly' by housemate. Apparently my breath can stun small animals and large ones in an enclosed space. Keep drinking water, brushing teeth and gargling but not helping. If anyone knows how long this lasts please let me know.

Thought that one side was more painfull than the other and wondered if it was swollen. Someone look and said no. Nice crusty white stuff all over. Great.

Had some chilli con carne. Pasta was a bit of a trial so only had a few bits of that but stuck to meat. Managed to eat chocolate eclaire. Eventually - took about 30 minutes. I can usually demolish a box in that time. Where there is a will there is a way.

THURDSAY

Probably my worst night. Didn't sleep until 3 am (I am a night owl though and am reading Slansky's Theory of Poker) woke up at 5am with dry throat. Woke up at 9.15am with very dry throat presumably as a result of mouth breathing still. Friend (?) suggested taping my mouth shut to teach me that I can now breath through my nose. Decided need to find a reason to have his tonsils removed. Through his testicles.

Taking 1 tablet of solphadeine plus in hope to reduce air issues. Normally I stick my fingers down my throat to bring up air but this doesn't seem like a good idea at the mo.

Did I mention the charming black bits my burping often brings up? Presumably burnt flesh from my throat. I must ask how the tonsils were removed. Because they were doing a histology (biopsy) I know they must have cut them but I wonder if those people who reported excruciating pain had them burnt out?

Apparently I get the results on 13th April.

I want crispy fried duck with plum sauce. The sort you get in restaurants not from takeaway it is not the same. And a garlic bread. And a full sundy roast.

If having this done doesn't improve my blow .... erm .. lolly sucking ability I will be most annoyed. It has never bothered me that I stop breathing during the night. I am asleep. At least I am not waking myself up with the snoring.

Tonight I am reducing the heat and see if that helps my throat being dry during the night. I felt really cold Monday-Wednesday.

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OFF TOPIC

I wasn't allowed ice cream until I was five - it aggravated my eczema badly - so I never really acquired a taste for it. Guess what my mother bought? Two tubs of haagan daaz, two one litre tubs of ice cream (the triple chocky is quite good), once box of white chocky magnums and one box of milk chocky magnums. I had to get someone to get me ice lollies!

My parents also said that I 'should have had that done (adenoids and tonsils removed) a long time ago'.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Read those two paragraphs again. Go on. Now explain the logic to me. Please.

ON TOPIC

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I will leave you all in peace until tomorrow. Or I can be bothered to correct the spelling mistakes.

If enough of you ask, I promise not to post again. Or you could send me money ..... I am having to use two weeks of my holiday for this little episode .... Worth a try.

1 Comments:

  • Glad you survived the whole thing!

    [often "bad breath" can be caused by infections in the tonsils etc - of course right now it's probably due to the surgery (and those burnt bits - yep - they're most likely burnt bits of tonsil [ most likely cauterised during surgery ] !!)]

    By Blogger M., At 1:31 PM, April 13, 2005  

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